Why do we grumble and complain?
Is not the grumbling in our lives a result of impatience? When I am in a situation that is difficult, painful, frustrating, even dangerous I may be able to tolerate it for a little while but after some time I ‘lose’ my patience. The typical first sign of this is grumbling.
Often the grumbling is not about the primary problem. Rather it can be directed at someone who who I believe is responsible for my being faced with this problem.
Take the sickness of a loved one. I can engage the distressful situation they are battling by being present, compassionate, and helpful. I can even absorb the secondary discomfort for a time. The extra workload, the cost, the emotional byproducts of their pain can be tolerated and kindly dealt with until I ‘lose my patience’.
In this example like many others the primary struggle leads to secondary collateral damage. The real struggle is the sickness but I am powerless to do something about it. I don’t like to see the one I care for in pain. I am frustrated because of their lack of progress. I feel helpless, powerless, and depleted. And then I lose my patience, maybe not with the one who is sick but with the, equally important, doctor or a family member or a colleague.
This typically begins with grumbling. I complain to someone else about the impotence of the doctor or the choices my loved one made that brought this situation on them, or the state of the medical facility… while there may be some truth to each of these complaints, by grumbling, I am not actually addressing the complaint. I am venting and in a spiritual reality bringing judgment on myself.
“Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”
James’s 5:7-11 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.5.7-11.NIV
Maybe the greatest struggle is not the doctor, the choices one made, or even the sickness itself. Maybe the greatest frustration is with God. Why would He let this happen? Why is He slow to respond? Why are His promises not being fulfilled now? Why is He letting this take so long? But since we feel we have no voice or recourse with God we let our frustration and impatience begin to boil over with grumbling.
The good news is that we are doomed to this destructive path. The example of the prophets in the passage above is important. While not perfect, the prophets refused to give up hope. And when grumbling seeped into their lives they repented- stopped grumbling and turned their grumbling to praise.
“Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.””
Job 42:1-6 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/job.42.1-6.NIV
So, no matter where you are or what you are facing turn toward the Lord who is gracious, generous, and loving. Do not be seduced by your frustrations and fall into the destructive trap of grumbling God is good. He loves you. And He is fighting for you. Trust Him.